Oatmeal Cookies??

Sally and I were in the kitchen the other night when we realized we were both craving oatmeal. Not that mushy, healthy kind that lowers your cholesterol and comes in a bowl, but the chewy, delicious kind that's filled with fat and comes in a cookie.

Now, we all know that the best kind of oatmeal cookie comes on the bottom of the Quaker Oatmeal box top. The recipe, that is, not the cookie itself. That would be preposterous. However, upon surveying our rations, we were displeased to find that we had neither butter nor eggs.

Never ones to let a minor malfunction make us miss out on munchy madness, we decided to go ahead with our plans, substituting in various chemicals for the missing ingredients. (did I mention that Sally is a chemistry major?)

Just kidding. But we did substitute in Crisco for the butter and a combination of cornstarch and H2O for the eggs.

Here is the recipe, for your reference, noting our changes:

"Vanishing Oatmeal Raisin Cookies"
1/2 lbs. (2 sticks) butter --> we used 1 c. Crisco
1 c. firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 c. granulated sugar
2 eggs --> we used 1 T cornstarch and 3 T H2O per egg
1 tsp. vanilla
1-1/2 c. all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon (we ended up adding a bunch because it was a sprinkle top, so we couldn't actually measure...)
3 c. oats

Wait, 3 cups of oatmeal?? As Sally and I prepared to stir in the last ingredient, we discovered, to our utter surprise, that we only had 1-1/2 cups of said oatmeal. Whatever could we do?

Luckily, Sally came to the rescue with her Quaker Oats Oatmeal Squares cereal, which had been sitting under the counter for over a month. Let it be known that oatmeal and oatmeal squares are not the same thing. But we did not let this stop us, and proceeded to utilize this new ingredient.

The result? Well, they weren't oatmeal cookies, but we ate them anyway, as per our usual M.O. For some reason, the first batch came out sort of flat and chewy, with lace cookie-esque edges. To address this, Sally had the brilliant idea of moving the oven rack up a rung. Subsequent batches, while still not oatmeal cookies, were thicker and generally closer to what we had in mind when we set out on this adventure of the appetite. Pictures to follow.

Bake and comment! And remember, as Julia Child always says, "It's never too late to change careers!"

Signing off -- Sally and Co.